Recovery Update

As many of you have seen my previous blog posts, I underwent a major hip surgery at the end of May. It’s been a little over 3 months now and I just wanted to share a little bit of an update on my recovery.

I am at the point now where I am able to put full weight on my right leg. I have been on the crutches for many weeks and definitely ready to ditch them. However, due to not walking normal for 3 months, this task of walking has become very difficult. The muscles do not work very well, and it is sometimes painful.

Throughout the past 3 months I have overcome many different obstacles. I moved from a wheel chair, to a walker, to crutches, to one crutch for part of the day. I walked on the beach for the first time, I went swimming, I walked in the pool, I climbed steps, and started driving again. But I think the biggest obstacle I have faced is not physical, but mental.

Mentally, this has been the biggest challenge of my life. I have gone through many other surgeries and different life struggles, but this one definitely beats them all. During this time I have never felt more alone, more angry, more heartbroken. I honestly do not know where I am going with this. But I want my blog to be a place of vulnerability, a place where people can relate to not being okay. I remember the first time I walked into the doctors office. I was thinking I was just going to do this surgery and be good to go and start training and playing again. I walked into that office and the doctor told me to slow down. He decided to do a scope and after that scope he told me I would never be able to play again. I had felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. And sitting here after surgery, after 3 long months of not doing much, I am just as heartbroken as I was when I heard those words.

I don’t want to sit here and mope and have people feel sorry for me. But I want to be vulnerable and be open and honest and say that I am not okay. BUT, I do have hope. I may not be okay, but God has a plan. I believe He has a plan for my life. And I’m holding His hand as He guides me through it.